End of Month - A Changed Person

Many times when we genuinely desire to participate in something that helps others, we come away feeling like it almost helped us more than we helped. In setting out to give, we find that we are the ones who received the gift.

When I returned from Honduras and Guatemala last year, where I went to work with an organization called Manos Chicas Corezones Grandes (Little Hands Big Hearts), I came back feeling so grateful for many things I had taken for granted -- chief among them -- clean streets. In Honduras, nearly every street around the town of Trujillo where we stayed, had sewer running down one or both sides. Back in America, I would drive up my street just amazed at how we didn't have sewer bordering the road.

Taking this one-month experiment, I set out to bring awareness to the plights of others. But in the process, it completely changed my life. I no longer drive home thinking about where I plan to stop and spend money on food. I no longer think of food like an event, entertainment, or the source of variety in my life. Food has become the equivalent of fuel to me, and frankly, I need a lot less fuel than the amount of food I had been feeding my body. When we eat for fuel, we eat more balanced meals or snacks, and we eat less.

Instead of getting together at restaurants with friends, they came over. Sometimes my house was a mess, and sometimes it wasn't. But I knew they were coming over to spend time with me. It wasn't just that we both craved sushi or that Diner-X was a conveniently-located drinking hole. Instead of staring into my freezer saying, "What looks good," I started picking up an item and saying, "Okay, what can I do with this?"

After 30 days of no food shopping, I have a really healthy relationship with food -- much healthier than I have had in a very long time. And I lost 7 pounds without even trying!

When I shared with people about my experiment, many of you said, "That's cool. I'm going to do it too." In fact, today is May 1, and you'd think I'd be at the store stocking up. But I'm not. I probably will get some milk.

As many of you know, Dad was in the hospital for nearly a month. When he came home, he still needed care. He doesn't need 24-hour care, but since I live a couple blocks from my folks, while mom is at work I walk over and have lunch with him. I have to admit that at first I was excited about being able to access mom's stash of fruits and veggies!! (After all, I ate whatever I made for him.) But as the month went on, I found that even at their house, food was fuel; what really nourished me was time with Dad -- time I never would have had otherwise.

I have changed a great deal for the better this past month, and it started with no food shopping. It continued as I put my attention on people more than on food, and as our personal connections grew beyond the kitchen.

Don't get me wrong -- I still love to cook and I enjoy making great food. My Pampered Chef kitchen items are among my most prized earthly possessions. But they are indeed simply tools that further enhance my life. It is not food that adds flavor to all things good -- it is first and foremost the people with whom we share our lives. This 30-day experiment has reminded me of that.

Thank you for taking this wonderful journey with me.

When Desperation Drives Behavior

We don't often consider the variety of the American diet until it is limited. Sometimes just being told we can't have something makes us want it more. But in a healthy body, sometimes it's the body that craves something it is lacking.

Over the past week I have really come to miss milk. It's not like I haven't had dairy. My refrigerator is stocked with string cheese, which I think might have a shelf life of a year. Well, maybe not a year. But as April progresses, and even the left over milk my mom gave me to make a recipe for Easter is gone, I have found myself craving milk at unusual times, like in the middle of the night. I am not an evening snacker, nor do I wake up for midnight snacks. So to wake up and crave a glass of milk is clearly a sign that desperation is driving an entirely new side to me.

So when I went over to my parents' house last night for dinner -- talk about delicious! -- I requested a glass of milk with my meal. Aside from coffee, I'm not sure I've ever requested anything but water to drink. Every now and then, on hot summer nights, Mom will make a round of root beer floats for everyone. So I'm not saying I never drink anything but coffee or water, just that I don't usually request anything else.

So Mom made a brisket, carrots and cabbage -- and I drank my milk. At the end of the evening I noticed Mom had been to the store and bought green grapes. I eyed those grapes so hard it was all I could do not to ask for a small bunch.

I don't live alone. I have a resident companion named Emma, a small sun conure, who relies on me to bring her fresh fruit in addition to her balanced meal plan of approved parrot food. For the last week, her grapes have started looking a little brownish, but still mostly firm -- not spoiled quite yet. [You can try the computer jigsaw puzzle of Emma at http://www.bellaonline.com/ArticlesP/art61326.asp]

And so, when I saw those grapes, sitting there in all their glory, I knew how very much she would appreciate 10 or 12 big, globe-shaped, crisp, green grapes to last her until May. And so I did what people do when they are desperate, I ooed and awed over them until Mom asked if I would like some. I quickly fetched a small locked bag and pulled off a bit for Emma. And then it happened... my dark side emerged.

"You're not giving those to that parrot are you?" Mom asked. I couldn't lie, I didn't want to lie, but if I tried to explain to her how desperate Emma must be, craving a bit of crisp, fresh fruit, she might have taken them away. You see, in my parents' home, people are people and animals are pets. Pets do not eat food intended for people.

So I did the unthinkable. I started popping one after another into my mouth. "I'm eating them," I said. It was true. I was eating them. I was eating them in front of her, but I really wanted to take them home to my beloved pet. I grabbed a few more to fill my little bag and I set it in my purse. It was misleading, I know, but I did it for my bird.

How many times do we feel outrage at people who lie at the office, undermine others to get promotions, commit crimes -- and then have the audacity to say, "I'm so sorry. I was only doing it to give my kids a better life." I have been the victim of that speech many times.

Would Emma have lived without the grapes? Sure. Would she have been just as healthy and just as happy? Probably. Would she have honestly known the difference? Probably not. Taking grapes to Emma was something I wanted to do. Taking grapes away from my folks, who struggle with medical bills and other things I won't go into, wasn't really fair. My mom gave me the grapes in good faith that they were for me. As someone who is a stickler for the rules, and for doing the right thing even when it's really hard to do, I think I'm going to take the baggie of grapes back this afternoon and confess the truth. After all, desperation drives bad behavior only when we consciously allow it to.

Best of the NW! What a Great Sale!

Mom called today to tell me about a great sale at a local grocery store tomorrow. Suddenly, a few sentences into our call she remembered my experiment, and said, "Oh Honey, I totally forgot you weren't buying food this month."

This is a very good example of a "deal" a lot of families aren't able to take advantage of or enjoy. Two pounds of cheddar cheese for $4.69. Two gallons of milk for $3.69. Lean ground beef for $1.49/pound. Ten pounds of potatoes for $1.49. It's an ad that I'm sure will draw a lot of people. The store is calling this their "Best of the Northwest" sale. But for families who don't have money left over, even the best sale in the Northwest won't help them.

Of course I'm bummed about missing out on this great sale too. But it makes me grateful that I'm missing out as part of an experiment and not because I simply cannot afford to put food on the table. And it increases my awareness and compassion for those who are missing out because they don't have the extra funds this month to stock up.

Do you want to make a difference? You can!! Donate to any charity that offers hunger relief and tell us about the charity you chose and what makes it special in your community.

Food is Just Not That Interesting Anymore

The weirdest thing is starting to happen. Take the convenience and the selection out of food -- and after a while, it goes back to being what it was intended for. Fuel. The fun of food -- the indulgence and the overindulgence, comes in the creativity, the abundance, the convenience, adn the shared experiences of eating what we want, where we want, when we want, as much as we want -- with who we want.

It's not that I have come to dislike food. Food is great. It's especially great when it's shared with friends and when we get to eat whatever sounds good at the time. And until I attempted this experiement, I had no idea how much food I had actually stockpiled.

I could probably still eat from my cupboards for another month from today! But the truth is, food is just not that interesting anymore. What is interesting? People have become more interesting. Instead of looking forward to what's for dinner, I've started looking forward to who might like to come over for a cup of coffee. It's a nice change - a healthy change -- and another change worth celebrating. This experiment is something I would recommend. It's perspective changing in a positive way.

Follow me on Twitter @ Job_Security.

Living Near Family... & a recipe @ the end

Living near family opens up a whole lot of opportunities that simply don't exist with just friends. I have some wonderful friends, but none of them invite me over for holiday dinners. And maybe that's because they know I do have a family to spend the holidays with.

Today being Easter, I went to my auntie's house for lunch. It was very delicious. Isn't every meal a little more delicious when someone else makes it?

So mom asked if I would make my green bean casserole... which I make a little differently than most people. (Recipe below.) I told her I couldn't, as I am out of milk. I had the remaining ingredients in my pantry. Ideally, for this experiment, I probably should have tried to improvise without milk... added water or some funky combination of condensed milk or half and half and water.

Mom must have really wanted my green bean casserole as she offered up a half-used half gallon of milk. Boy was I ever so grateful to have that!! I had to toss the rest of my milk a few days ago as it had grown mighty ripe to sour smell.

To be fair, I did not ask for the milk. I simply explained that I didn't have the ingredients to make the dish. I will admit that I was practically jumping for joy when she offered me her half-used container. I don't think I've ever been so delighted to receive secondhand milk.

Lunch was good -- interesting -- as family gatherings usually are. This being a public forum, I will just leave it at that. Nice day -- and a great blessing to have Dad home.

Now for the recipe... this one is unique but worth a try.

3 cans of French cut green beans (drained)
1 can mushroom soup
1 can milk
1 can shitake mushrooms (drained)
About 3/4 cup of veggie sticks from Trader Joes mashed up
1 large can of French's dried onions (divided)
2 packets of soy sauce you get with take-out at your local Chinese or Japanese restaurant

Add all of the ingredients except the French's dried onions. Stir. Add 1/3 of the big can of fried onions and stir again and bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Sprinkle remainder of fried onions on top and put back in oven for 10 minutes.

Serve. And of course... enjoy!

Changing My Ways

The most interesting thing about this experiment is that I have actually started to notice myself "thinking" differently.

I no longer scour the food ads thinking, "What do I want to buy?" Since I'm not food shopping this month, I'm not really scouring them at all because there are other forms of reading for entertainment that I prefer. But I don't even think about it. A local grocery store sent me a $15 off a $50 purchase coupon. Before I would have saved it and used it just for the sake of using it, because obviously, "It's a good buy." But if I didn't need $50 worth of groceries, is it really a good buy? So I gave it to my mom.

I did go out to eat today -- but I didn't buy any food (or beverage). My friend Laurie wanted to take my sister and me out for our birthdays (which are two weeks apart). My meal was free because Red Robin sends out an e-mail coupon for a free burger on your birthday if you join their club. Laurie was sweet to pick up my ice tea. The burger was great. The service was better. And the company was even better than the service (which was better than great!)

It was the first time this month I have been out to eat at a restaurant. While it was fun to get out with the girls... I haven't missed going out to eat. I do miss my friends when I don't get to see them.

Once again this experiment proves that 1) People make dining fun! Whether it's the company, great service, or a combination, people trump food. And 2) Once you get over the convenience of eating out or picking something up at the store at the last minute -- eating at home is at least as pleasurable as eating out. It's healthier too.

While I only have 20 more days of this experiment, I don't foresee myself giving up this new way of dining -- planning ahead, using what's in my cupboard, eating a little less (fewer calories) and focusing on who I dine with rather than what we eat. Is it possible to change my ways in only 10 days? Maybe. If the new way is that much better than the old way -- yes, I think I just might be changing my ways for the better.

Good Morning - Would you Like Some Sour Milk?

Since I'm not food shopping this month, I've been rationing myself on some of the essentials -- because I need for them to last. One of those things is milk. My container of milk, which I bought on March 31, listed the sell by date as April 13. You have to figure that if the sell by date is April 13, the milk will be good at least until April 16th or 17th.

Today, I decided to have Cheerios for breakfast. I put them in a bowl, sliced up a kiwi my mom gave me a few days ago on top and opened the refrigerator to take out the milk.

When I opened the milk, it was clearly sour. There was no way I could smell it let alone put it on my cereal and eat it.

How many families who are living paycheck to paycheck save their milk, hoping to make it last until the next payday -- or close to it -- only to discover that not only is it gone, they could have enjoyed it only a day or two earlier?

I was talking to a friend of mine and I told her that if this were not an experiment, if I were literally living hand to mouth every month, I would save an emergency fund for the most basics like milk, bread, eggs -- things I knew I would need to get by. But she made a good point, where do you draw the line on the basics? Sure, milk, bread and eggs are basics, but what about rent? Is that a basic? What about electricity? For that matter, what about money for new shoes for a child who needs them to walk to the bus stop?

Many Americans have no idea what it means to experience total uncertainty about where the next meal will come from. But sadly, many do. Many families live hand to mouth every day.

Of course there are those who abuse the system. Sadly, there are parents who buy cigarettes instead of milk for their children, or who invest in a big screen TV instead of decent clothes or shoes for their kids. And there are those who just charge everything, hoping that things won't catch up to them "this month" or "next month." There are those who abuse the system, and that is wrong and there needs to be harsh consequences for that. But for those who are just honestly and legitimately trying to get by, is there not more we can do to help?

Can we spare a few dollars or a few cans of food to a charity that is working to help those most in need?

Today is Good Friday, a solemn time of reflection for Christians around the world. As we reflect on all we have to be thankful for, shouldn’t we also reflect on what we can do to make the world a little better for those living on the edge?